The Mules

PhruityPheebles
Nov 11, 2020
5 min read

Updated: Sep 8, 2023

Recommended for people 21+

Content & Trigger Warning: Self-harm, Isolation, loneliness, mental heath, mental illness

I had a rough freshman year of college.

I didn't really have a great experience because I didn't have my own experience. Yes, I lived it, but most of the things I did my freshman year were things I thought I had to do. Romanticized college experiences I saw in movies or TV made me believe what having a good time in college looks like. There was really only one kind of experience continually depicted, which involved a lot of alcohol to convince everyone they were having a good time.

And after playing Depression Isolation for a year or so, I had forgotten how to make good friends, forgotten how to socialize, and I'd forgotten how to have fun. Going to a frat house or a bar every weekend sucked when the people you drunkenly met would seemingly "forget" your name the following day.

I would spend a ridiculous amount of time by myself, not because I was introverted, but because I felt like I couldn't understand their shallow, fake socialization. I felt very down and having peer-pressured experiences made me feel lower. I unknowingly kept deepening my depression with these fake, fleeting acquaintances. Since I had no boundaries with people, I felt that people would hate me if I said no. This is partially true if you hang out with shitty people. And as result, I did struggle to find deeper and meaningful connections.

However, during my freshman year, I had discovered a wholesome thing during a compelling creative assignment. The prompt basically said to take yourself on an adventure while taking pictures or recording the experience and then presenting it creatively to the class.

During this assignment, we were all still relatively new to the campus. Since many of us were out-of-state, we used it as an opportunity to get better acquainted with the town and the campus. Most of my classmates decided to walk downtown, which wasn't too far from our dorm but still pretty far. Honestly, had I not been assigned this kind of project I would've probably just stayed in my dorm and never discover what I did.

I decided to head east. I had no real place in mind; I just wanted to keep walking east and see where it would take me. Being from the Northwest suburbs of Chicago, if I kept walking directly east for about 30 minutes, I would eventually walk directly into Lake Michigan. Since I had moved to land-locked mid-Missouri, I felt a calling to head east; I was hoping to find some kind of body of water to thwart my feelings of being home-sick. So, when I left my dorm room on a nice, breezy day, I headed east.

Little did I know that my university had all its veterinary buildings east of my dorm room. As I continued eastward down the road, I started to descend a pretty steep hill. One of the vet buildings overlooked a mid-sized ranch at the bottom of the hill next to a large parking lot that veterinary students used to get to class. After crossing the asphalt lot, I hit a picket fence surrounding multiple farmhouses. At that moment, I realized that if there is a farmhouse near the vet school, then there must be some animals!

And sure enough, I found mules!! They are pretty friendly. If you didn't know, mules are actually a combination of a horse and a donkey. They are smaller than horses but big enough to ride. They are kept on campus because my university has a mule team trained to ride or pull carts. Fun fact, mules can do most things that horses and donkeys can do, but they are all sterile even if they "choose" to be sexually active! Hope you enjoyed this section on fun mule facts.

Anyway, the college of vet medicine kept two female mules and two male mules in separate pens. (They do be choosing to be sexually active.) The males are further away and harder to see, but the females' pen is closer to the edge of the parking lot. When they can see or hear someone come up, they will come out of their farmhouse full of hay to say hello! These mules are very used to being around people all day.

But, I avoid petting them because I never want to touch an animal that is:

1. Not mine

2. I don't have permission/consent because they're not mine

3. I never know how the mules (or animals) will react if I try.

So instead, I just chat with them, and sometimes they neigh back, or other times I feed them the long strands of grass that grow around their pen, which they are more than willing to accept. I checked that it was okay to give them grass. But, of course, if Mules have regular access to grass, they will tend to overeat it, so they need to be kept on a balanced diet and exercise routine. Ugh, same here.

Since discovering them my freshman year, anytime I'd feel particularly down, I liked to visit them. Usually when it's not too cold out, so not much during the winter. So when I first found my mule friends, I had been in a low place, and seeing them cheered me up. I guess it was a pleasant surprise, and it almost became like a casual relationship that I have with pets that aren't mine. Ove the years I had even taken some friends to see them, its a not a secret to the public, but it is very hidden away unless you're a vet school student or just a nosey lil' shit like me.

Although it's not the same as having my own pet or my own mule, it is still quite lovely to have mule friends. Sometimes I wonder if they remember me when I visit, it would be nice to think that some mules know who I am because I had been visiting for nearly six years and have given them some grass.

This had been one of the most stable (get it? ;p) relationships I've ever had… I don't know how to feel about that, but whatever, I usually like animals more than people anyway.

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