Mushrooms #02

PhruityPheebles
Jan 28, 2020
3 min read

Updated: Sep 8, 2023

Recommended for people 21+

Content and Trigger Warnings: Drug usage, recreational drug usage

We were on his balcony: this is a old photo of his balcony at sunset on an early November weekend.

We ate special mushrooms from the ground, rolled into peanut butter sandwiches that strangers had sold to us after they had us play a very amusing game of “Pictionary.”

On the come up, we were very giggly and tingly due to the initial anxiety and digestion. But eventually, our anxieties seemed to fade away. The chilly November air no longer affected us. It was as if the weather no longer seemed to matter, and after sitting on the patio waiting for the anxiety to melt away, we also felt like we were melting.

Standing became difficult, so we opted to lie on our stomachs facing the open patio door as if we were inside and outside at the same time.

While enjoying the late fall afternoon, we did quite a lot of talking. You asked me why we weren't as close as we used to be, and I had laughed out loud because you already knew the answer to your question. I had told you that you knew exactly why, so you confessed you just really missed those times when it felt like we were in our own little world and no one could touch us. We used to be closer, inseparable. Thick as thieves. But then you had destroyed that friendship for no good reason and expected me to be okay with it, and as a result of your negligence, it changed everything.

It took special mushrooms this time around for us to lower our walls again and experience an intense high on your patio that created that little world once again. And once we were, you couldn't stop looking at me, staring actually. And I knew at that moment: It was becoming harder for you to suppress your true feelings; your mask was coming off.

I was much too depressed, and frankly, too tired to go down that road with you yet again. I wanted so badly for you to hold me, to be there for me intimately; I thought it could melt some of the depression we had both been feeling. But instead, we stood on different sides of your patio staring at the sunset for an hour or so, watching all the colors, hearing the birds chirp, feeling the November wind brush past our rosy cheeks, as we wrapped ourselves in oversized wool blankets.

This moment had signified the first time that I had felt content in a long time. And as soon as I had realized this, I knew it would be a long while before I had felt this contentment again, even if it was just the high. And I was right since that world we initially created was never coming back like that again, and we could only seem to sink into it under the use of psychedelics.

We both seemed to notice the physical distance between us, as I watched the sunset from one side of the balcony, and you watched from the other side. Since losing that closeness, we became entranced in our different worlds, watching the sky shift into Night-Mode together.

Then you seemed to notice how far away I was. This was on purpose. I wanted to keep my distance but surprisingly, you invited me to "check out the sunset from your side." Okay. I did, as we stood shoulder to shoulder, wrapped in our giant blankets, watching the sky. At that moment, it felt as if the sun was setting just for us.

Even with my hesitancy to be close again, standing next to you felt better than standing three feet apart.

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